From Larry Miller, a breif overview of the conflict

A brief overview of thesituation is always valuable, so as a service to all Americans whostill don't get it, I now offer you the story of the Middle East injust a few paragraphs, which is all you Really need.Here we go: The Palestinians want their own country. There's just onething about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word.Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan,""Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Beforethe Israelis won the land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, theWest Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no Palestinians."As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big asbasketballs, what do you know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weepingfor their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation." So for thesake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any more todescribe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths untilsomeone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them whatthey are: "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And WouldRather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal StruggleAnd Death."I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this,then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters wanttheir own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't. Theycould've had their own country any time in the last thirty years,especially two years ago at Camp David. But if you have your owncountry, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks andChambers of Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure out someway to make a living.That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in theregion want: Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course--that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel. Why?For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist Entity" astheir textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years has allowed therulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own peopleaway from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate,poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever beenaround God's Earth, you know that's really saying something.It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poeticabout the great history and culture of the Muslim Mid east. Unless I'mmissing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world sinceAlgebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one.Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; fiveMillion Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, andIsrael as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now thesesame folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack ofmatches. Everyone will be pals.Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of warsto obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid bloodoaths to drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Justreverse the Numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and fivemillion Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Cananyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite tothemselves? Of course not.Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for generationsto drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joyat the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believinghorrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood ofchildren? Disgusting.No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jewswould ever do to people is debate them to death After September 11thour president told us and the world he was going to root out allterrorists and the countries that supported them. Beautiful.Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent ofan Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the samething we did, and we tell them to show restraint.If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, wewould all very shortly be screaming for the administration to just bedone with it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east ofthe Jordan.


Now does this seem fair to you? It doesn't seem fair to me.

Shalom aleichem,